Ghostbusters New Jersey Keeping It In The (Addams) Family

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District 2 Coordinator Bill Malkin responded to a call in the Ecto-FJ Cruiser about a “goth” woman walking the streets in a zombie like state. Calls to GBNJ (which we really wanted to dismiss as pranks, it’s that time of the year) also described the mystery woman as “appearing familiar from classic television” and “may have been around either before or after monsters.”

The “very pale” woman wasn’t responsive as people normally are. Her ID associated her with a day of the week. Bill proceeded with caution by unhooking a nutrona wand from his proton pack. The woman continued to stare, seemingly un-phased by Bill’s actions. Because of her perceived state of mind, Bill was able to safely escort the woman to HQ for tests. Fortunately she was cooperative, presuming she was even aware. She’ll stay within the family for an undetermined amount of time.

Richard Roy, District 1 Coordinator

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Stay Sugary

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District 3 Coordinator Greg McHugh responded to a call involving what witnesses and (apparent Ghostbusters fans) could only describe as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man. While attempting to get details, people were quoting historical quotes, made famous by the actors portraying our employers in the 1984 movie, Ghostbusters.

Collaborative witnesses told Greg that left behind candy, including empty wrappers from a variety of usually delicious candies “seemed effected on all hallows eve.” More commonly known as Halloween.

Their were also reports of new Hostess Twinkies wrappers “laying on the ground in the area.” It was undetermined if this was a catalyst in the left over candy converging to form the mascot of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Corporation. 

Only a hypothesis early on, perhaps the negatively charged atmosphere (particles) surrounded and “fell” onto the sugary treats. Combined with thoughts of Mr. Stay-Puft from people caused a copy of the once giant sugary confection.

Not taking any chance for this poor copy to grow any larger Greg heated his nutrona wand up, firing at full stream. The weakened ectoplasm soon collapsed, leaving small piles of melted marshmallows and empty candy wrappers in the surrounding areas. Local and government agencies were on the scene to clean up and receive a bill from Greg.

Richard Roy, District 1 Coordinator.