Ghostbusters Invade Garden State Events – GBNJ Team Ready for Action!
In breaking supernatural news, GBNJ – New Jersey’s own elite Ghostbusters squad – is now booking appearances for events across the state!
Whether it’s your kid’s birthday bash, a haunted movie night, or a full-blown comic convention, GBNJ is stepping out of the Ecto and into your next event to blast boredom into another dimension.
Locals have been raving about their high-energy, movie-accurate appearances and one-of-a-kind photo ops. This isn’t just a gimmick – this is full-on Ghostbusting glory, complete with gear, uniforms, and yes, even an Ecto-Containment Unit (just in case).
As the Ghostbusters famously declared: “No job is too big…” “No fee is too big…” (Though the team admits they’re a little more budget-friendly than Venkman would be.)
“Bustin’ Makes Me Holy: The Failed Attempt to Trap the Risen Christ”
So picture this: It’s early Sunday morning in ancient Jerusalem. Roman guards are loitering outside a heavily sealed tomb like bouncers at a club nobody wants to be in. Suddenly, BAM! Flash of light. Stone rolls away. The tomb is empty.
Cue the panic. Cue the scrolls being tossed into the air. Cue the… first-century Ghostbusters?
Because if you’re Roman authorities or a religious leader, and your supposedly dead enemy just walked out of a sealed tomb… who ya gonna….. send a carrier pigeon to?
The Nazarene Containment Protocol
Let’s be honest—if Jesus had risen in our timeline, the whole scene would’ve triggered an “E-Class Resurrection Event.” The Pharisees would be frantically dialing a local Ghostbusting franchise:
“Hi, yes, we’ve got a Galilean who claims to be the Son of God, He was very much dead on Friday and now He’s apparently just walking around. Can you, uh… trap that?”
The Ghostbusters would stroll up to the tomb, proton pack powered, sunglasses on, muttering,
“Alright, boys, let’s bag us a Messiah.”
Spoiler alert: it won’t work.
Jesus Doesn’t Do Ghosts
The problem? Jesus isn’t a ghost. Ghosts are trapped between worlds, unfinished, oozing regret (and sometimes ectoplasm). Jesus is glorified, fully alive, and definitely not slimy.
When He appears to His disciples post-resurrection (Luke 24:36-43), they freak out—naturally—and think they’re seeing a ghost. But Jesus shuts it down real quick:
“Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”
Then, just to drive it home, He eats some fish. No ghost ever did that. Ever seen Slimer eat something? It goes right through him.
You Can’t Trap What Defeats Death
Imagine the Ghostbusters frantically tweaking their tech. “Okay, okay… maybe if we cross the streams while quoting Leviticus…”
But Jesus isn’t some rogue spirit who needs busting. He is the Resurrection. He invented the whole “back from the dead” concept. And while ghosts might stick around because they can’t move on, Jesus stuck around to prove a point.
In Matthew 28, the authorities try the next best thing—they bribe the guards to lie and say the disciples stole the body. Because clearly, covering up a resurrection is easier than admitting you just failed to contain the King of Kings.
Final Thought: Good Luck Busting the Almighty
Look, if you’re trying to trap Jesus—whether with Roman authority, ghost tech, or legalistic theology—you’re gonna have a bad time. The tomb couldn’t hold Him. Death couldn’t contain Him. And even the best-funded ghost-hunting franchise couldn’t land a single zap.
So this Easter, remember:
The stone rolled. The tomb was emptied. And the ultimate “Class 5 Full-Roaming Messiah” just walked out. And He’s not just risen—He’s reigning.
He ain’t afraid of no grave. And he certainly ain’t fitting in your trap.
Credits: Reitman, Ivan. Ghostbusters II. Directed by Ivan Reitman, starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Sigourney Weaver. Columbia Pictures, 1989.
Today, the PKE meters are redlining, the Containment Unit is rumbling suspiciously, and even Slimer is eyeing the cake — because it’s time to celebrate the 40th birthday of none other than Ian Gendel, the GBNJ’s beloved Leader of Research & Development, drummer extraordinaire, and general all-around swell dude.
The Rhythm of Research & Development
Not only is Ian the brains behind some of the greatest Ghostbusters mods this side of the Mississippi, but he also lays down beats like Ray Stantz lays down proton streams. That’s right — Ian is a drummer, which explains why every one of his creations is perfectly timed and hits harder than a Class 7 free-floating full-torso apparition.
Legend has it he can solder a smoke kit circuit while keeping perfect tempo to Got the Life without breaking a sweat. Truly, Egon would be proud.
Korn: The Soundtrack to His Spooktacular Life
Some people like Korn. Ian? Ian is possessed by Korn (though don’t worry, we checked — it’s not Gozer). With an astounding 46 live Korn shows under his belt, Ian has officially seen the band more times than most of us have had functional neutrona wands.
And if you ask him about his favorite band or starch, you’ll get the same answer both times: Korn. It’s dedication like that that makes a man worthy of the GBNJ R&D lab coat (yes, we assume he has one, covered in Ecto-Plasm and band patches).
The Smoke Kit King
Let’s not forget his jaw-dropping contributions to Ghostbusting tech. Ian is the creator of the ultimate smoke kit for the HasLabs Proton Pack AND the Spirit Ghost Trap — so good, it’s practically a spectral illusion. We’re convinced the man reverse-engineered this tech straight from Egon’s personal notes.
Thanks to Ian, GBNJ members now have proton packs and traps that don’t just look the part — they feel like they were wheeled straight out of the Firehouse workshop. Smoke, lights, sound — the whole spooky show.
Just a Damn Good Guy
Most importantly, Ian is the kind of person you want watching your six when Gozer comes knocking. Reliable, funny, inventive, and never afraid to mix a little Nu-Metal into his busting soundtrack, he’s the heart and soul of GBNJ’s workshop.
So today, as you blow out 40 Stay Puft-shaped candles, Ian, know that the entire team is behind you — proton streams charged and “Freak on a Leash” blasting.
Reitman, Ivan. GhostbustersII. Columbia Pictures, 1989.
Hey, paranormal patrons, spectral spectators, and those who accidentally tuned in via Ouija board—yeah, we see you. It’s been a wild ride, but GBNJ has been busting ghosts and boosting events like never before! We’re not saying there’s been an uptick in supernatural disturbances across Jersey, but let’s just say our PKE meters have been off the charts lately.
You might be wondering, why is there a sudden spike in activity? Well, let’s just say the Jersey Devil isn’t the only one making moves in the Garden State. Maybe the spirits of Weird NJ landmarks finally decided to test our containment unit. Maybe the ghosts of the Pine Barrens got tired of lurking and needed a new crowd to spook. Or maybe, just maybe, the lingering ectoplasmic residue from Action Park’s most infamous attractions stirred up something that even Slimer would think twice about. Either way, we’re on the case!
We’ve got a TON of events coming up, and if you haven’t seen us popping up more often, you must have been trapped in a ghost trap. Conventions? We’re there. Charity events? Absolutely. But let’s get something straight: we do WAY more than that.
First up, here’s where you can find us with our proton packs fully charged:
April 12th – The DooDah Parade in Ocean City, NJ
April 19th – South Jersey GeekFest in Westville, NJ
May 3rd – Whitehall Mansion Paranormal Expo in Fieldsboro, NJ
June 14th – Hunterdon County Day at the fairgrounds
Did you know we handle private events too? That’s right—we’re not just here for the big public gigs. We bring the energy, the hype, and the positron-colliding fun to everything from birthdays to weddings, corporate shindigs to, yes, even funerals. (Look, if Grandma was a Ghostbusters fan, we’ll make sure she gets a send-off fit for the afterlife.)
Need a party where your guests battle in a digital coliseum? We got you. Want a cosplay contest at your wedding? Done. Looking for a truly unforgettable corporate event that isn’t just another “trust fall” seminar? Say no more. We ain’t afraid of no…boring parties.
If you’ve been meaning to book something with us, now’s the time—before our schedule fills up faster than a containment grid at full capacity. Hit us up, and let’s make some magic (and maybe a little mischief) happen. Just don’t forget the certified check, money order, or cash…. we charge 4% for taps and swipes (blame our overloards)
Stay tuned, stay hyped, and stay weird. We’ll see you at an event soon—or at least hear from you through the ether. Just remember: If something strange is happening at your next event… you know who to call.
Who ya gonna call? Well, if you’re on a budget, maybe Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. Because, fellow paranormal enthusiasts, something strange is afoot—not in your neighborhood, but in your local discount retailer. That’s right, Ollie’s is now stocking Ghostbusters toys, including the legendary Neutrona Wand, at prices so low they must be possessed!
For those unfamiliar (shame on you!), the Neutrona Wand is the business end of a Ghostbuster’s Proton Pack. It’s the device that lets you wrangle wayward spirits, blast ectoplasmic entities, and, most importantly, impress your friends who have no idea how to pronounce “Tobin’s Spirit Guide.” Usually, this bad boy sells for a hefty sum, but thanks to Ollie’s, you can now wield ghost-catching power at a fraction of the price.
It’s not just the wand either! Reports are coming in from across the country that Ollie’s has been overrun with a variety of Ghostbusters toys. We’re talking figures, gear, and other essential equipment for any aspiring specter-slayer. Whether you’re a hardcore collector or just looking to zap your bank account a little less, this is your chance to stock up before these bargains vanish faster than Slimer at a buffet.
If you’ve ever dreamed of going full Peter Venkman without maxing out your credit card, now’s your chance. But act fast—much like the ghosts we love to bust, these deals won’t be sticking around for long!
So grab your jumpsuit, fire up the Ecto-1 (or, you know, your Honda Civic), and get to Ollie’s before these bargains get sucked into the containment unit forever. Happy busting!
If you see this logo on our social media page, Chances you’re on Facebook. This is not our official logo, it is our official “Facebook only” logo
Folks, we’ve seen a lot of weird things in our time—full-torso vaporous apparitions, Ecto Cooler being discontinued (a crime against humanity), and a slime-covered Statue of Liberty walking across the NY Harbor from Liberty Island. But nothing could prepare us for the latest supernatural menace to haunt our existence: the Meta Corporation, specifically…… Facebook.
That’s right, the same company that keeps your Aunt Linda’s Minion memes alive has now turned its bureaucratic Particle Thrower on Ghostbusters of (insert your state or local town name here). Apparently, our playful, clearly-not-infringing, totally-its-own-thing ghost logos have triggered their PKE meter for “impersonation.”
Impersonation of what, you ask? The Ghostbusters? Nah, we’re not those guys. We don’t even own a single firehouse, and our Ectos aren’t even “the real car.” They are just a clapped-out bike, a weird-looking cop car, a rusting Jeep, and a Dodge with a really weird stain in the back seat. And yet, the Meta Menace came knocking, and faster than you can say “I looked at the trap, Ray,” they zap franchise pages from existence.
Who Sent Them? We Have Our Suspicions.
We’d like to think it’s an innocent mistake, but let’s be honest—Meta is the Walter Peck of the internet. Just like the EPA’s favorite mustached antagonist, they’ve rolled in with a clipboard full of vague policies and started shutting down containment units without understanding how things work.
Do we explain that we’re not actually the Ghostbusters? Yes.
Do they care? Nope.
Do they metaphorically shut down digital Containment Grids and let the spirits of dead Facebook pages roam free? Absolutely.
And if history has taught us anything, this will end with a giant Stay Puft Zuckerberg trampling through our notifications.
A Pattern of Corporate Ecto-Containment
We’re not paranoid (yet) as out close friends in other Ghostbusters-adjacent groups have gotten slimed by this nonsense. Across the internet, fan franchises—dedicated groups of paranormal enthusiasts who just want to wear flight suits and wield foam proton packs—have been getting hit with similar bans. Meta’s crackdown on our beloved Mooglie ghost logo has spread like a Class 5 full-roaming vapor through the digital landscape, and it’s getting ridiculous.
Look, we get it. Copyright is important. We wouldn’t want anyone impersonating us, either. But let’s be real: We are literally NOT the Ghostbusters of New Jersey.
If Meta had actually taken five seconds to scan us with their metaphorical PKE meter, they’d see our pages are nothing more than a fun-loving bunch of spectral enthusiasts trying to make people laugh while pretending to bust ghosts. But nooo, they had to go full Peck on us.
So What Now?
Well, for starters, we can fight back. Maybe we’ll appeal to the Meta Tribunal, where an algorithm will pretend to listen before sending us a canned response. Or maybe we’ll just embrace our new role as the Internet’s official Spirit of Bureaucratic Vengeance. Either way, we’re not going anywhere.
In the meantime, if you’ve got a ghost problem in New Jersey, don’t call us—because Meta won’t let you. Instead, just light a few candles, put on some Ray Parker Jr., and hope for the best. Or, you know, just send us an email at gbnjoutreach@gmail.com.
Remember: We ain’t afraid of no ghosts. But we are afraid of social media corporations that don’t understand satire.
Ghostbusters NJ 