From: GBNJ Records

Date: July 19, 2003 Time: 1:22 PM EST

Name: “Ice Guy”

Further Information:  Not much is know on the background of this 75 foot tall frozen dessert mascot, except the facts of that fateful day.  During a “Customer Appreciation Day” at the Rita’s Water Ice of Browns Mills, NJ this immense Ice Guy lumbered his way through downtown Pemberton and tried to destroy the small town of Browns Mills starting with the Rita’s stand located there.  Before any sort of investigation could be launched the beast tried to trample the gathered crowd.  Rob Wurm of GBNJ quickly grabbed his proton gun and fired at Ice Guy’s only apparent weakness, his crotch.  Ice Guy then exploded covering the town in a sticky, gooey, yet delicious mess that is still being cleaned up to this day.

We’re going about this all wrong. If we get Ice Guy a threesome with Gelati Girl and Mrs. Twist, we won’t have a problem!

Nobody steps on a frozen dessert stand in my town!

“Aim for the nards!” -Bill “Do Ice Guys got nards?” -Rob