As many of you know, this time of year tends to stir up a… spirited response across the paranormal community. Most franchises will be gearing up to pursue the so-called “Holy Spirit,” who is reportedly celebrating his 1,993rd birthday this year.
(And before anyone says it—no, he didn’t rise in year 0. It was 33 AD. Do your research.)
HOWEVER…
Out of respect for his long-standing history, proven resilience, and frankly undefeated track record, the GBNJ has elected to officially place him in the same classification as Slimer: non-hostile, semi-chaotic, but ultimately off-limits.
He’s earned it.
INSTEAD…
Our attention will be redirected toward a lesser-understood but highly active seasonal entity: Ēostre, the ancient goddess of spring—modern alias: “The Easter Bunny.”
Reports indicate:
- Widespread distribution of brightly colored ovular objects
- Contents include currency, confectionery substances, and—on rare occasions—fermented grains
- Increased activity in open grassy fields with high concentrations of small humans
Should you witness members of our team moving with urgency through these areas—possibly displacing said small humans in the process—rest assured:
It is for scientific analysis and supernatural containment purposes only.
We appreciate your cooperation.
Stay safe. Stay vigilant. And if you find eggs… do not consume until properly classified.
— GBNJ
Ghostbusters NJ 